Switching the Light On !
Switching the Light On !
Feeling war. Learning from pain.
Saturday, the 19th of November, 9 am CET/11 am Nairobi / 3 pm Bangkok / 7 pm Sydney (to mention some of our time zones), we step into the next round of our co-creative experiment WorldWork Journalism. 15 people from Africa, Europe, Asia and Australia coming together on their screens … what for?
How am I feeling in the moment …
I check in with myself. I feel discomfort among many other things. And maybe that is exactly where the process is leading me. Here I am ‘functioning’ - participating, writing and yet I am feeling.
As i go deeper into what am I feeling - I notice I am feeling the struggles of the voices in the room today. I am feeling with the ones who want to be heard and understood, the ones who have lost, those who feel guilt or shame, those who are paralyzed, angry, grieving and even those who want conflict. I am feeling the discomfort of sitting in this fire and also the exhilaration of being able to do so.
I am learning as I am feeling - learning to listen, learning to accept that I do not understand, learning to honor, learning to allow myself to be changed, learning to love - in many different ways and maybe coming a step closer to understanding that pain is as much about love as love itself.
Kruti
I am paralysed. I can’t move…the atrocities happening make me feel helpless. I am consumed by immense guilt. I am not experiencing this war…pain…suffering directly. My heart bleeds for the lives being lost yet I feel guilty for feeling this way. Who am I to feel this way anyway? I want to help…heaven knows I would…
What can I do? It feels hypocritical, doesn’t it? Yet I’m still moved. I want to do something…I share the pain however little I can. I want to show my support to the afflicted.
Cynthia
”So why don’t you do something? Why watch? How do you just sit there claiming you see this and do nothing?”
”What about the wars going on that aren't being talked about? Did people follow what happened in Myanmar?”
The sentence pierced through my heart and did not leave. My jaw tensed; my teeth crunched. A mask descended over my face. Big parts went numb, like my legs, and my back. I and the Role that I ‘chose’ became one. No self-observer present. Fully identified with the one drowning. ….. Part wanted to press the red button “ leave”. Part wanted to shout and rattle the list of what I’ve done in my life. I wanted to defend myself. Tell about the burning that surrounded me, the shooting, the screaming, the fleeing. This defensive part went silent ... Silent … silent.
But again, and again the questions would explode in my head:
“How can you watch and do nothing? How can you not help me? How can you just sit there?”
Yes, I (not just) sit there and watch the war in Gaza hours and hours, in Ukraine, in Sudan, in Yemen, in the USA, Myanmar, Syria, Congo ….
I sleep. My observer wakes up with the many different parts of me. A new day to find fragile balances between drowning in pain, seeing immense beauty around me and stepping into doing and connecting. And to ask the question: why am I hiding in the woods?
Saskia
I think mostly about loneliness when being in extreme situations and being not seen or heard by anybody else. I wonder what I could do about it. If I do not know about this particular situation, am I able to do anything? Nothing direct, but I can feel and do what I can do about situations I know and have access to them. I am part of the world and my pain is part of the world's pain too. I want to stay connected to myself and others and do my best for all of us the way I can. For myself too.
Next morning. In my mind’s eye, I can see your faces like I saw them yesterday on the screen of my laptop. I am touched. My soul is moving towards you, all around the globe. It is so good to meet and I want to share more:
The two hundred thousand people killed during 3 months of the Warsaw Uprising in 1944 are coming to my mind with the World watching and doing nothing about it. I am living in Warsaw almost 80 years later. This nightmare is still alive here, present in many ways, shaping private and public life here. I think about people tortured and killed by other people and those people tortured and killed in retaliation to what they did earlier. I think about innocent ones - some of them not even born - killed and eliminated by other human beings. Is there any ProcessMind in all of it? Any sense?
I do not know, but I can live my life the best I can, feel as much as I can, and do as much about pain and suffering as I can, suffer myself, and enjoy life. I learned not to torture myself so that I could do so little in the face of all that pain and suffering which takes place in the world. It didn’t help me in any way. It did not do anything good to others either. Just the opposite. I am learning to do not too much and not too little. Just as much as I am able to.
Thank you that you are. Thank you so that we can meet. The meeting is so precious for me.
Zbyszek
Pain competition
Throughout a big part of the process, there was an image that disturbed me: an image of pain and suffering being used as a currency. Currency that’s being traded. And that’s a dirty trade. Trading pain for resources. Trading pain for attention. Trading pain to put pressure on the enemy. Trading pain to win allies. Trading pain to justify oneself. That wasn’t explicit in the dialogue itself, but perhaps was dreamed up by me in the background. And in that trade contradiction with ‘functioning’ is explainable: the energy is taken, and pain is being given in return. And though it’s edgy to acknowledge that, I’ve been taken by the role which is irritated by this “pain trade”, accusing those who do it, and longing to find a more ‘pragmatic’, resourceful, cooperative (and not competitive) take on the pain taking place.
That shifted with the roles bringing this side in different ways. How being connected to pain puts you on the frontline. How being connected to the pain of others allows you to hold your own community more. How being connected to the pain gives you strength and willingness to act. How being connected to the pain gives you humanness. How it connects us. And how it makes us act.
Vlad
I remember a waitress with a tattoo on her arm, showing this quote “fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity” and the complexity of doing versus being makes me wordless.
…and then the voices come in saying something like this experience taught me about aliveness, vulnerability, appreciation of friendship, etc. His voice makes sense of the nonsensical for me.
I recall my grief for places and people I have lost, and how none of them were perfect, but how love is enlivened by the pain, and how we are all only alive briefly. At the same time, I struggle to forget how many people who experience war will be affected by nightmares, substance addiction, and other post-traumatic experiences.
Shirlz
Going deep
By addressing me and my fear to go deeper into your pain you showed me so much dignity and power.
I simply acknowledged that I am afraid and feel guilty for not being able to process the thick darkness, the overwhelming pain.
Instead your words showed me so my kindness and care. You lifted me up and gave me a path to the common humanity. I felt awakened.
Thank you for being with me and helping me to be together with you.
Marina
Grieving together
I´m afraid to feel the pain of the world on my own. What if I sink too deep? What if you cannot find me anymore? What if you find me in pieces? --- Can we grieve together? I need you, and maybe you need me too. Can we hold hands? Can I lean towards you? I want to hear your stories. I want to cry together. It is not that I don´t want to feel. I just want to feel together. If there are more of us grieving together, we can catch each other before we fall. We can take turns. Grieving is a collective act.
Iina
Work locally and act globally - can this work?
The role of taking action or not taking action created energy inside me. I am taking action locally where genocide has happened for decades. I am trying to bring forth justice and liberation for our Indigenous communities but what emerged through the process, was realising I am afraid to work locally and hold things or act globally at the same time, even though I have started to, after feeling all the grief, pain and suffering of both.
Sometimes it feels too much at one time for my mind, body, heart and soul. My health has suffered, working in the justice space the last few years. Right now there are thousands on the frontline dying in service of others globally, trying to bring forth justice. I am privileged to be able to step away if I want, many can’t.
I was also touched by the gratitude and humbleness of the role that felt their humanness through war. I admire those that come to this place through great suffering and maybe this gives us insight into how we can co-create community care locally and globally and where we focus our energy and what role we choose to play.
Anna
World – and my way to contribute
War intensive time we are living in. I am not the one in war, also not directly in pain, I guess I am more of help acknowledging this privilege and contributing out of this position. And yes, I need to watch and feel the pain to connect. So I want to find the right mixture of seeing my privilege, feeling the world, support and connecting - finding my own way to contribute out of MY now.
Stefka
Can we feel what happiness is without ever feeling grief? Do we know what love is without ever losing someone we love? Do we truly cherish the gift of life without being on the edge of losing it? The day would not have a meaning without night; the light is useless when there is no darkness.
Ivan
The ‘trick’ to find beauty in suffering
The Role “I'm grateful for the suffering because it makes me feel what life means and connects me globally”, touched me especially because it opens a positive perspective on the horror, which could help build the strength to handle it better.
This Role was also the impulse for me, to find/feel a possible shift in my understanding or thinking about wars/conflicts - it feels empowering to me, to gather “good energy” with this trick. I write “trick” because this “shifting opportunity” to find another connection to “processes I feel overwhelmed by” reminds me of Bayo Akomolafe and his dancing power to find understanding and words for such processes.
Fabian
After reflections
15 people from Africa, Europe, Asia and Australia coming together on their screens … what for?
I was really surprised how fast the group dived deep into emotional perspectives about the „chosen topic“ – this feels very valuable to me. Especially the feeling to „sink in as a group“ feels like I want to feel like a human being – I understand and feel, because of the group I’m in connection/touch with – Thank you all very much for this. Fabian
Thanks to the process I feel more alive and present, energized, engaged, and active. Zbyszek
And how a group of us from all around the world meets, crossing time zones and history, to explore this phenomenon together really lights up something inside of me. Shirlz
Being in this space I still felt the love we all shared with each other. There’s still love in the midst of this pain and that moves us to still DO SOMETHING…however little it is. I feel able to appreciate life as a gift that it truly is despite all this. I cherish every relationship I have with my loved ones as I’m not certain when it might end. I’m touched to know that I’m not alone with this and that even the smallest bit of effort can go a long way. Cynthia
About 🌏 Worldwork
Worldwork is an application of Processwork also known as process-oriented psychology. As a psychological and conflict-resolution approach developed by Arnold Mindell in the 1970s, it's based on the principles of Jungian psychology, Taoism, and systems theory, and it is used in various settings, including therapy, organizational development, community building, and conflict resolution. At its core, Worldwork aims to explore and understand both individual and collective processes in order to address conflicts, promote personal growth, and transform tensions into co-creative energy in relationships within groups and communities. It focuses on bringing awareness to marginalised or ignored perspectives, as well as the deeper layers of consciousness within individuals and groups.
The initiators of this space
Stephanie Bachmair (founder B.ONFIRE) is a communication passionate, facilitator, leadership coach, and process work diplomat. She supports individuals, teams, and organizations to explore and craft their stories, tell them with charisma, relate to their audience, and increase their transformative power through dialogue.
Penny Watson (MACF) works as a coach, group facilitator and community development worker. She loves working with people in nature using process-orientated earth-based practices. She lives in Mparntwe, Alice Springs, and is deeply inspired by the people and lands of the Central Australian Desert.
If you want more
In case you have questions about Worldwork Journalism as a project or about joining the group, please write to info@b-onfire.com.
If you are interested in knowing more & experiencing process work, there is a Deep Democracy / facilitative leadership training coming up soon: Myth&Truth - 7th to 9th of December 2023 in Hamburg. More info here.
More Writing/Reading/Podcast … B.ONFIRE Insights&Conversations is a separate publication here on Substack
For professional updates on leadership, communication, and facilitation check our website www.b-onfire.com, and other social media channels: https://linktr.ee/b_onfire
