Heartspoken

or the shadow side of big stories

Happy Easter everybody! How do you celebrate or find meaning in these festive days?

I have to admit, I always struggled with the Christian symbol of the ‘cruzifixion’ and ‘Jesus on the cross’ in so many churches. Don’t understand me wrong, I am a ‘believer’, but I love not only to tell but also to question stories and how they are told. I like to walk consciously through the Easter days, to contemplate on what is time to let go in my inner and outer world, I also love to clean up the flat, my body and mind (fastening) before Easter and then giving space and celebrating what wants to ascend and grow. Somehow, as a storyteller I would keep the elements, but shift the symbolic focus to the moment of resurrection/ascension. What do you think?

The second chapter ‘of my not yet published book’ is Own Your Truth and starts with me talking to my beloved grandfather:

Munich, 1977, Signature Story

At 4 years old, I asked my grandfather: “Grandpa, where do the babies come from?”

He answered: “Oh, you mean how YOU came to us? I went to the nearby department store and chose you out of a big offering of babies.”

 I asked back: “Why did you choose me?”

He answered: “That was easy, you were the most beautiful one.”

…from a baby shelf. Ha, what a non-sense! Department stores do not have babies on the shelf. That’s what I had thought as a child. But I did not speak up on my thoughts. I let my grandfather with the belief that he was the one who had ‘bought’ me into the family and latest with his charming ‘you were the most beautiful one’, I had even been tempted to accept this story. It was a kind of arrangement.

In my dreamland as a child, I was a twin. Whereas the polite well behaving girl was Stephanie, the other one was a naughty girl, her name was Micky. She didn’t care about any rules, was very brave, fearlessly speaking out and doing what seemed right to her in this very moment. In a way she was how I always imagined my grandfather as a boy, naughty: ‘Ein Lausbub’[1].

The two girls were in continuous dialogue, Micky was wild natured which helped me somehow to get along with the corset of everyday world. At a certain point, ‘growing up’, I gave Micky up also in my private space and went along as a sensitive pleaser with great empathic qualities.

After quite some deep life lessons, further intensified by corona and now the war propaganda, my heart speaking rebel has woken up again. I feel a deep urge to own and to share my truth. This does not mean …. that it needs to be your’s or even not that mine can not change tomorrow. Our dialogue might create a new one. Let’s talk!

www.b-onfire.com

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[1] Bavarian expression for a naughty boy, interestingly there is no feminine version of it

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